This realization became a pressing item to address when Pam, a good friend called to let me know that her son had been mugged – just a couple of days after having dropped him off for his college freshman year! HE IS OK. But I don’t even want to think of the horror of getting such a call at 1:00 am when you are 800+ miles away from your child.

The story in short: Drew, the son in question, was walking back home with a group of new college friends when they were accosted by another group of youths that were selling drugs. I don’t have details on the situation, but know that the exchange between the two groups degenerated, with the “hoodlums” running off with Drew’s brand new, latest model iPhone. Insulted, he looked to retrieve the phone, only to be assaulted and beaten to the ground. Friends called 911 and Drew spent the remainder of the night in the ER, being tested and scanned before being sent back to his dorm. We now jokingly call it “the Good Assault”, meaning that though Drew had two black eyes and other nasty bruises (physical and emotional, I’m sure), he was lucky that there were no severe injuries. AND, this was “good” in the sense that it created an excellent wake up call for the rest of us: TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL SAFETY!

I’m feeling horribly embarrassed and guilty that I never directly gave my own son advice for his own safety as he left the nest. We like to think that our older kids are street smart and wise. And really, Pam did have the “safety talk” with Drew, but being the young impetuous men that they are, that was not quite enough. And, in our defense: “It is important to remember that colleges and universities are generally safe places. An 18- to 22-year-old is safer, statistically, on their college campus than they are off campus. Because campuses are safer, it can lead to students often letting down their guard. Therefore, the bottom line is that there is no substitute for personal vigilance when it comes to campus safety” (source).  And that’s pretty much what happened. Drew was technically off-campus by a few yards.

So, because personal safety is one of those basic life skills that we should all instill in our kids, here I am, making up for my parental shortcomings (well, on this topic at least) with a recast of expert advice culled from much reading on the matter. Here are some of the most basic safety tips:

Walking and biking:

• Be aware of your surroundings. That means put away the phone, the iPod and the headphones. Stay alert and notice there is any unusual activity or anyone looks suspicious or out of place.
• Walk confidently, with your head up, shoulders back and a self-assured stride. Don’t look around like you are unsure of where you are going.
• Always walk in groups. Use well lit walkways and avoid parks and dark, low-traffic or shortcut paths. It’s often recommended that, if traffic allows, you walk right in the middle of the street.
• If you have to walk alone, know that many campuses offer free “safe” walk programs. Take advantage of those.
• Keep a safe distance from anyone asking for information or directions or to use your phone. That would be an example of “suspicious” activity.

Should you be at threat of being assaulted or mugged, here is the advice:

• Don’t carry large sums of money but always carry enough money that you would not frustrate the attacker by having nothing to give him. Try to keep valuables at home.
• Don’t be afraid to make a fuss: get loud, start screaming.
• BOTTOM LINE, in the words of Pam: No possession is worth physical harm or threat to your life. Surrender whatever the attacker is looking for. It’s all replaceable.

Here is a great video from Kansas State University that, although is selling the safety of the campus, does a good jog at  tackling these street safety issues PLUS all the issues of safety in your dorm/apartment, getting in and out of your vehicle, internet safety and sexual assault. It’s a little long but a great recap of all tips:

Also, here are some websites that did a good job on the subject:

• Not just because my son goes here, but the U of W – Madison site has the best recaps of safety tips for all aspects of university life. Find the safety advice pages here and other links in the left column.
• Here is a foul-language but extremely effective post (on Craigslist of all places?!?!?) for advice should you ever get mugged. I’m guessing that this was written by a cop?
• Anny Jacoby is a personal safety expert and knows her stuff. Find her site here.

Please share this with your kids. This is appropriate for younger teens as well, as they start traveling on their own. I would love to hear of your own tips that should be added to the list.

Since owning a Calder is not something so easily contemplated (well, dahhhhlin, it’s just that I don’t have the room), you will like to know about the Hotchkiss Mobiles. These are, in fact, the very mobiles that are sold in the MCA Museum store.

These interior mobiles, aka kinetic art, definitely recall the Calder style, while being of a manageable scale (that goes for price too) to fit into any room.

There is something oddly calming and conducive to meditation and wonder when observing a mobile dance, shift and sway. Calm and meditation… That’s something we all need more of these days. I’ll take one for every room!

You’ve seen people of all ages wear these “rubber” bracelets, anklets and necklaces with holograms on them, and you knew it wasn’t just another Livestrong copycat. But what are these things? Well, let me tell you…

My son has been wearing a holographic necklace for years. Designed for surfers, he swears by Power Balance to help him with his balance in such sports as surfing, skimming, skateboarding, wakeboarding and snowboarding. The website explains how it works and it’s pretty straightforward: the body’s cells naturally generates electro-magnetic energy, which is essential for the body’s performance and well-being. The holographic technology is designed to resonate with this energy, creating a body that is more in harmony. This allows the body’s muscles to relax and the blood flow to increase.

After my nephew suffered a skateboarding accident and then, later the same year, broke his arm while snowboarding, I thought that a holographic bracelet might work for him. I bought him an EFX wristband (another of the brands that make these wearable holographic pieces) for Christmas. Since he was in a cast almost all winter he never did get on his snowboard again, but he never took his holographic wristband off. This summer, he tried wakeboarding for the first time. He could not believe how confident he felt and how easy he thought it was. Easy? He likes to credit EFX.

I now also wear a holographic bracelet all the time and have noticed a difference in my ability to stay up later at night and I sleep much more soundly. I also notice more strength and balance in my yoga practice. My son gave one to his grandmother for her birthday to help her balance and she wears it faithfully. Take a look at the EFX website to learn more about the technology and take a look at the balance test. We all took it and it does work that way.

Placebo effect? Snake oil? Maybe. And, I am not a scientist but I do know that I feel better wearing one of these holographic bracelets and so do three of my family members. I never take mine off. If you wear one, I would love to hear your story.

To see the full line by both companies, go to www.powerbalance.com and www.efxusa.com

Though the issue seems to have corrected itself in the last months of the last school year, my daughter was the subject of bullying and nasty rumors in the eighth grade. We had just moved to the area and she was one of a handful of new kids in the middle school of 800+. Not a “misfit” by any definition, being the “new kid” was still enough to make her a target.

The bullying and rumors started a couple of months within the school year. But I only started taking note that something was dreadfully wrong in December when my daughter was in a consistently somber mood and we noticed severe behavior change. Over time, she finally told us what was happening, of course forbidding us to talk to her teachers as she did not want to be seen as a tattletale. Still, the situation was serious enough that I called the school, who was completely ineffective in handling the problem. Eventually, my daughter’s assertiveness and rebuttal to her attackers made an her undesirable target. The bullies moved on. But, who was their next victim?

So, when the publicist of Jodee Blanco’s book, Please Stop Laughing at Me, offered to send a copy, I quickly said yes, eager to read about the author’s own story and see what recommendations she might have…

The book is actually a memoir, written in an easily digestible tone which makes it perfect reading for pre-teens and teens. And I believe that it should be mandatory reading for all students. Bullying victims would see that they are not alone, while bullies would gain a better understanding of the deep pain they actually inflict on others. The Phoebe Prince suicide, among others, is a good reminder that we should all be alert to the issue of bullying. The book should also be read by parents to enable them to read the signs of bullying and by educators to alarm them to take any bullying incident and to take action.

I have never been a victim of bullying or have bullied myself, but the stories of abuse as told in the book had a way to make me completely empathize with the victim and feel how truly painful bullying can be and how it can have a damaging lifelong impact.

Here’s a helpful excerpt from an article written by the author:

School Bullying — Tips Every Parent Should Know
By Jodee Blanco,
Author of Please Stop Laughing at Me . . . One Woman’s Inspirational Story

If we’re to win this war on school bullying, I urge each and every parent reading this column to take stock at home. Is your child a possible victim of bullying? Or are they themselves a bully? When the lights are turned off at night, is your child sleeping, or are they lying awake in the dark, dreading school the next day because they know they will face hurt and rejection the moment they walk through those big glass doors? Do you know the names of the students your child admires, and those they don’t and why? Is your child happy or simply putting on a happy face for you?

Schools reach out to me for solutions to these questions every day. Now I am reaching out to all of you who are parents:

• Pay attention to your child’s mood. Don’t just relegate grumpiness to back to school blues. It could be fear masquerading as irritability.
• It’s the beginning of the school year. Get involved now before problems start, not after they’ve begun.
• Establish a rapport with your child’s guidance counselor.
• Don’t be afraid to ask your child specific questions, and learn to listen patiently and without judgment.
• Get to know the parents of your child’s friends and establish an open line of communication and support.
• Encourage your child to embrace the new students at school. It’s an easy way to make new friends.

As parents, we are often overwhelmed by the responsibilities of daily life. Sometimes we are tired and irritable when we get home from work, and the thought of going one more place, doing one more thing is just too much. Let me just say this. Our own emotions, and most especially, logistics, should never get in the way of being present to, and helping our children.

I’m often asked what my own mom and dad did during my lonely school years that helped. It was something so remarkably simple, but it saved my life, and it could save your child’s life too.

For most bullied students, whether it’s the child who’s overtly abused or the one who’s ignored and excluded day after day, it’s the relentless loneliness that is often hardest to bear. While all the other kids from school are hanging out together, going to parties and having fun, you’re sitting at home, aching to be a part of it, waiting for invitations that never come. I remember those dark moments well, and if your child is experiencing a similar sense of isolation, you need to understand that every child needs friends and a social life, and this is doubly true for bullied kids. If school doesn’t yield this companionship, seek an interim social life for your child, somewhere he or she can participate with other peers in an activity they enjoy.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is that they become so immersed in trying to deal with the school once they discover there’s a problem, that they forget to tend to their bleeding child first. And make no mistake. The bullied child is bleeding, but they’re bleeding in the form of loneliness. You can stop that bleeding by finding your child a source for friendship, but you must act swiftly, definitively, and follow up.

Also, please visit Jodee Blanco’s website for more information. She is touring the country speaking to students and teachers about the perils of bullying. I encourage you to speak to your school about this program.  All schools can benefit from this. The book is available in bookstores and on Amazon.

In the meanwhile, here’s to a healthy, happy and successful year for all students and their families. Fingers crossed.

To enter, simply go to the Kyocera website (in the kitchen utensil section — Kyocera is also the manufacturer of printers and cellphones, among other things) and tell us which of the Santoku knife color you would pick and enter that as a comment here below. This giveaway is open until September 17, 2010 @ 11.59 am CST.

Usual giveaway rules are: One entry per person. The winner will be chosen at random using a random integer generator. Your information is confidential and used for this giveaway only. Multiple entries will be deleted. Winner who does not respond within 7 days will be dismissed in favor of another winner. Valid in US & Canada.

Good luck!

A couple of months ago, I sensed that my two year old laptop was – prematurely- ready to call it quits. Usually, I give my laptops three years, but this one (I won’t mention the two-letter brand name) was not going to make it. I’m quite proud to have had the foresight – for once -  to avoid disaster by using an online (remote) backup solution. Sure, I have an external backup drive, but you think that I ever remember to backup? Never. And then, what happens if something happens to my backup dirve??? So, when I found out about Carbonite, it was like “Eureka”.

Carbonite automatically backups up all files on my computer: emails, photos, documents… The Carbonite program scans my computer to check for any new or updated files and backs them up automatically. There is nothing for me to do. The files are encrypted as they make their way to the Carbonite data center, so they are completely secure. There is a yearly fee of $54.95 which to me is completely worth it for the ease and peace of mind that it provides.

So when my computer did decide to give up, I was prepared. All I had to do was to access my Carbonite account and upload the files to my new computer.

The other solution that was extremely helpful in the computer transition was LastPass. It is a secure password manager. Since LastPass is web-based, all I had to do was to access my master LastPass account – from any computer. This saved me from having to remember and reenter the hundreds of convoluted passwords created for all my online accounts as these were now recognized on the new computer. Again, all data here is encrypted. There is a free version and another at $1/month. Again, totally worth it, especially with the now hundreds of online accounts that I’ve created.  There is also a spot to add secure notes (any personal information) and sites (like banking sites).  Here is video on how it works:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Both of these solutions are idiot-proof, i.e. no geekiness required to install them, use them and both highly secure. I like that both solutions are remote, so that should anything else happen to my computer (theft, coffee spillage, etc…) I will always be able to retrieve important data from absolutely anywhere.

Let me know if you try them.

During the summer months, I inevitably put on some weight due to all the BBQ’s that we either host or are invited to. I eat way too many burgers and potato salad and, let’s not mention all the Bloody Caesars (a Canadian version of the Bloody Mary).

When I discovered ShaToBu (that’s short for SHAping, TOning and BUrning calories) I thought “This is just what I need!” According to the website, “ShaToBu shapes, tones and burns up to 12% more calories as women go about their daily activities. With regular wear, women can see and feel a difference in their bodies over time”.

I was pleasantly surprised with the fit. I could feel the resistance bands when I walked, but not so much that it was uncomfortable. When I wore it into town, running my usually errands and grocery shopping, it took a bit more effort to walk but it felt great knowing that I was burning more calories. The ShaToBu tagline “The Workout You Wear” is perfectly chosen.  When I getting dressed up to go out I used to wear Spanx, but now why not get an extra little “workout” while sipping my Chardonnay! I also decided to take it a little further and started to wear ShaToBu under my exercise pants when I work out. The “real” workout.

I’ve only had my ShaToBu for a couple of weeks and because of the summer clothes I wear (mainly bathing suits and cover-ups) I have not worn it as often as I would like and so  have not seen direct results just yet. The technology though, makes perfect sense. It’s all based on resistance as explained in this video. Simple. So, I am looking forward to the fall and cooler weather so that I can wear ShaToBu more often, under jeans and longer skirts. It will be great to get in an effortless, regular “workout” just by wearing this undergarment. I will definitely report back on how it is working for me.

Get more information or buy directly from the ShaToBu website or from Amazon.

We got most of it done by now, including the dorm room shopping bit and that’s mostly thanks to this convenient solution called Alice.com. For those of you already using Alice, it’s a “duh!”, I know. For others who have not used it (yet), I raved about the service here and haven’t looked back since. So, my dorm room supplies solution is to order from Alice.com and have all the sundries shipped directly to my son’s dorm room. Brilliant, if I say so myself.

Here’s what I got:

• All toiletry duplicates (we want him to feel at home when he comes back, without having to bring a toiletry case to use in his own home) such as shampoo, body wash (would you be surprised if I told you that he is using Old Spice nowadays?), deodorant, toothpaste, etc…
• Laundry supplies: I love that I could find tiny packaging on the site. There is certainly no room to store the 50 oz bottles here. I like the Country Save laundry packets. Nice and small and convenient to bring down to the laundromat. I also like the GrabGreen 3-in-1 pre-measured pods which also contains fabric softener. I went for the pack of 24 on this one. Both product lines are green. Then let’s not forget the Tide To Go stain remover pen.
• Dishes and cleaning: I love Sun & Earth products which I discovered through Alice (wrote about them here). In this instance, I think that their trial size bottles are perfect for dorm room use. I got my son the dish liquid and the all purpose cleaner. Green and $0.89 each.
• First Aid: Alice has everything in this category. Pain relievers, bandages, antibiotic ointment, cough drops and the rest. But I also got this SymptomPak which is perfect to appease all potential flu-related ailments. Add chicken soup.
• Coffee & Tea: My son loves his coffee and was given a mini French coffee press which he is taking with him along with an electric kettle. I thus ordered ground coffee – and a variety of teas. Though Alice doesn’t sell sugar per se, they do carry sweeteners of various kinds, including Sun Crystal which is stevia and cane sugar based.
• General: one roll of paper towels, box of tissues, batteries…

That’s it. I think we are covered. I’ve added a few “luxury” items (like a fancy nut mix and shortbread cookies) to the order to surprise my son when he opens the box. It will be convenient to replenish any of these items via long distance and have the whole order delivered right to the residence hall. PHEW.

My friend Tammi told me about these eco-friendly Yubo lunchboxes that she bought for her two daughters. After checking out their website I could see what she was so excited about. Every year I would throw out my children’s old lunch boxes because they were so dirty and raggedy. It won’t be the case with these. The Yubo lunchboxes completely come apart to wash in the  dishwasher. They are also BPA free, antimicrobial and recyclable. They offer three different shapes of storage containers that can be mixed and matched, keep everything organized, so no more need for plastic bags. See all the great and well thought-out features here.

The best part for the kids is that they can change the face-plates whenever they get bored of their lunchbox. They can design their own or pick from a myriad of available designs.  I particularly love the faceplate that allows you to upload three of your own photos and write your own caption under each. What fun for them to show off their summer vacation pictures on their lunchbox.  Six months later upload your Christmas pictures for a new faceplate.  The possibilities are endless. To learn more about the Yubo Lunchbox and to order, go to the website at GetYubo.com. The list of retailers can be found here. Amazon sells them also.

I feel wholly unprepared for this stage in his life. As our oldest, he’s the first one to head to college and away from home. Though missing him will be the (my) largest issue ( I never expected to have a teenager I’d want to be around), getting him prepared for dorm life is a whole other matter. My husband and I both went to college in our hometown and lived at home, so we can’t even rely on our personal experience to tell him what to expect, and more immediately pressing, what might be needed to furnish his dorm room comfortably.

In the – likely? – event that, like me, you still have dorm room shopping left to do, I thought that I’d share some of the more useful dorm room checklists that I have found online.  Why reinvent the wheel. These two checklists, picked from dozens, are the winners. They are thorough… (and more legible than our chicken-scratch version):

• The Off-to-College Checklist from the College Board website.
• A Dorm Room Supply List from Claremont Colleges

We are editing these lists, of course. I know that my son’s dorm room, to be shared with another freshman, will be a tiny 84 sq. ft. and that surface space will be at a premium. So looking for multi-tasking pieces is a must. For example, he won’t be bringing an alarm clock (why consume 10 square inches?) when his phone can be used as such. The classic storage ottoman will serve, indeed, as storage, as seating and as the occasional table with a tray resting on top. The Ikea Dave laptop table mentioned by Audrey last week is a must too. And, we won’t be including items that he’ll just have to borrow from other kids, like an iron, for the couple of times when he might need one. He’ll have to find the tidy floormate that has one. And, we’re definitely getting the 3M Command wall hooks (the walls are cinder blocks, nothing being nailed in there…) for him to hang whatever can be hung to save space.

Only the young can live like this. In pulling a Tim Gunn, I say we’ll just have to make it work!