By Carol Cassara – Contributor & Midlife Wrangler

We’re the first generation to hit middle age (and official “senior” status) that knows we’re going to live longer—and healthier.  And that means we still have at least another 20 years to make our dreams come true.

Julia Child, Gandhi, Dr. Ruth, and authors Laura Ingalls Wilder and Frank McCourt were all late bloomers.

You can be one, too.

How?  That’s the question I asked myself, because I’ve recreated myself several times in these years between middle-age and whatever’s next. And I’m still doing it.

Life and opportunities are not over just because we’re aging. In many ways, this is the very best time to start a new venture, because we know so much more—about ourselves and life.

When I left my consulting job a few years ago to retire early, I had visions of a quiet, leisurely life of doing pretty much what I wanted to do. Sleeping in. Crafting.  But that’s not what happened.

I got bored.  Despite our extensive travel, there were plenty of in between weeks when I felt… disconnected. I wanted to contribute and knew that I could.

First, I started a memoir. Which I’m still working on.  But it wasn’t enough.

And then, an opportunity to teach appeared. I’d loved the several years I’d spent as an adjunct professor in another state, and figured eventually I might look for a similar gig. But I didn’t have to. Turned out, someone I knew from a writing group became chancellor of a local college. I dropped him a note and he introduced me to another “senior” who headed a college department and within weeks I had an offer to teach two college courses.  I’m ending my first school year this week.

Teaching is the way I give back. It satisfies me in a way that my traditional jobs never did. As an older instructor, I have much more to give back than I would have as a younger woman.

But that opportunity didn’t come out of nowhere—I’m a big believer in being awake to opportunity when it appears in your life. As in “any day can change your life, you just have to be there.”

Although I love teaching and writing, I’m not done recreating myself.

Here’s what I discovered: what I do when I procrastinate is what I’m really passionate about. I’m much happier if I incorporate those things into a new venture. Time passes quickly when you’re doing what you love, don’t you agree?

I know you’ve got a dream. Maybe more than one. Do you know what it is?

I’ve got more than one. Still. Too many, in fact. So many, that most die before they even get started! My life is a boneyard of dreams that died for lack of follow-through. It’s littered with them.  But I’ve made enough come true that I now know how to do it.

Since I love to teach and I love to write, I’ve decided to put together workshops that combine my two passions. I’m at the very start of this process: articulating my idea. Because I’ve learned the hard way through ventures that never got off the ground: state a dream in detail so you know exactly what it will take to make it come true. It’s like a trip—you can’t get moving until you know where you want to go, right?

Making dreams come true is a kind of specialty of mine and I’ll revisit this topic every month as I share my own process of making my latest dream come true. The good, the bad and the ugly—I’ll share it all. And, I hope, you’ll start the process of articulating your own dream—and share your experiences in the comments section.

So—what’s your dream?

By Audrey van Petegem, Chief Editor

As I recently delved into all sorts of questions regarding oh… little things such as the dichotomy of  love & desire in my marriage and the discovery of seeing myself as a sensual being, the thought pattern inevitably led me to questioning my “beauty”.

Actually, what does “beauty” mean? It’s hard to discern, especially in our society, exactly what makes a person beautiful. The continuous assault of “perfect beauty” imagery wants us to believe one thing. Wiser outlets – and even dedicated organizations – tell us that beauty comes in all colors, shapes and sizes… And ages.

I’m 50 now (soon to be 51), and clearly, my thoughts about beauty has changed. Has my beauty really faded to the extent the advertisers told me it would?  Am I less valuable and relevant now that I have (darn it) visible lines and wrinkles and a little misplaced pudge? The consumer marketplace is certainly making me feel like I no longer exist…

These thoughts were even further provoked by Dove’s latest campaign, “Real Beauty Sketches”. I’m sure you’ve seen it. It has racked up nearly 30 million views since it went up a week ago. It’s obviously striking a chord!

I wonder how I would have described myself just last month if I had been part of that same experiment. Probably not as harshly as the younger women in the video, since one of the benefits of age is indeed wisdom.

But, it turns out that us “older” women are not feeling so bad about ourselves – despite all the hard work the advertising industry is putting in to make us feel inadequate in the beauty department. Indeed, BOOMbox Network recently completed a beauty survey on Baby Boomer women: ”How do women over the age of 45 REALLY feel about ‘beauty’ at their age”. More precisely, how do they feel about their own beauty and about the advertising/marketing of the beauty products that targets them?

The major findings:

• For women over 50, hair is really, really important!
• We feel more beautiful in midlife than when they did in their 20’s (That’s the magic of confidence that comes with age!)
• We do NOT believe in beauty product claims (Can’t dupe us. Don’t even try)
• We do NOT like the use of younger models or celebrities in advertising of products targeted to them (C’mon, the twenty-something selling me wrinkle cream. Really?)
• We define beauty in completely different and unexpected terms (Our husbands, our girlfriends, a good night sleep are the types of things that make us feel beautiful)

So, us old gals are not doing so bad, huh? And we’re certainly not gullible. Age does have it’s advantages. It’s confirmed.

So you know, I’m not feeling like I’m fading at all. In fact, I’m more confident than ever about who I am (especially after reading François Roland’s “Being French!“). Yes, there are a few visible wrinkles, but these lines are well earned and are testimony to a life thus far well-lived. And as François Roland so eloquently states, “The tracery of wrinkles on your face creates and reflects the absolute uniqueness of who you are.” I know that the spark in my eyes and the mischievousness in my smile are alive and kicking, thankyouverymuch!

By Susan Keats, Contributor & Seize-the-Day Propagandist

Did you know that a 50 year old woman from MY TOWN has found a secret to rid herself of wrinkles that is even better than Botox? And can you believe, DOCTORS don’t want me to know about it?

And, did you know that a 65 year old woman, also from MY TOWN (wow, what a talented town I live in) has NO CELLULITE and if I just click….right here on this….oh.  I have to watch this long video thing and….oh.  I have to buy this … stuff….

Now that I have achieved mid life, I’m learning that I am still terribly flawed. I’ve been believing it too. I see “love handles” here.  And here.

I look in the mirror and I see a face that I don’t recognize as my own. I exercise regularly, yet my body is changing in ways that are unfamiliar. I see endless articles and blog posts written about aging gracefully, and boy do they irritate me. I’m feeling self-absorbed, self-deprecating, self-conscious…maybe self-ish.

Wait.

These feelings are strangely familiar. I feel a sense of déjà vu. I have definitely been here before.

Oh, help me! I have become a teenager all over again.

Yes, somehow I’m still that kid who spent ridiculous amounts of time wishing that my hair was a different texture, or my eyes were blue, or my knees weren’t so knobby. Has anything changed? Really? At 51, am I not supposed to be older and wiser?

Advertisers don’t think so. They love people like me. I am still perfectly capable of being pushed and

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You could say we’re a little obsessed with water bottles. We’ve mentioned the huge environmental problem caused by disposable water bottles several times (too many to count, but here’s a favorite post on that subject) and we’ve proposed some pretty sexy water bottles too (here’s our favorite post on that). Though we see more and more people carrying their own refillable water bottle, we’re still seeing way to many single-us bottles in people’s hands…


So, to honor Earth Day, let us bring to your attention even more choices of covetable, multi-functional REUSABLE water bottles. But first, we’d be remiss if we didn’t try to drill this important message even further still: Commercial bottled water is a huge waste of resources and of consumers’ money. Here a video that illustrates the facts (and the infographic is here):





Take a minute to pass it on? You know, to all those friends of yours whom you see still carting about 24-packs of bottled water when grocery shopping. In the meanwhile, here are some new favorites of ours in the reusable bottle category:

	Dopper Bottle – Merijn Everaarts, the dutch founder of Dopper, was so disgusted on the damage disposable water bottles do to the environment he decided to organize a design competition for the ultimate water bottle. The winning design is a bottle that looks more like it should hold wine instead of water. The top can be screwed off to drink out of the bottle or a convenient cup that looks a little like a wine goblet can be unscrewed. With such a strong passion Everaarts also designed a free app to download. The Dopper app displays where free drinking water locations are, no matter where you are in the world, ultimately ending the need to purchase bottled water permanently.  Go to Dopper to purchase and download the free app.
	Pure Glass Bottle – If you enjoy drinking out of glass bottles, but are fearful of dropping and shattering them, then this bottle is the perfect solution. Precidio created an outer safe shell that if the glass bottle drops it will not shatter and can be safely handled with no fear of being injured from shards of glass. Plus it is 100% recyclable. Buy directly from PureGlassBottle.
	Bubi Bottle - This scrunchable multi use bottle is made from  high grade silicone that is BPA free and FDA approved for food contact. It is the perfect size when in use and small when storing. This bottle is great for campers, hikers, boaters or for anyone with an active outdoor lifestyle. Not only great for water but also any hot or cold drink. Perfect also for storage of dry foods. And, it can double as a waterproof case for cellphone, money or car keys. Love this! Available on Amazon.
	Eco Vessel – This water bottle can be filled with water from almost any source. The Aqua Vessel filter removes 99.9% of the most common parasites in North American lakes and streams, as well as reducing heavy metals like lead, chlorine, sediments and dirt. The filter is attached to the straw, so when drinking through the straw the water goes through the filter first. Each filter lasts up to 100 gallons of water. Replacement filters and bottles can be purchased directly online.
	For S’Well Couples - These are just too adorable not to mention. How endearing to openly show not only your undying love to each other (comes also for His & His and Hers & Hers) but also the environment. Makes a wonderful wedding gift, but instead of filling them with water why not with champagne for the wedding night. Ahem! Buy from S’well.
	Clean Bottle - This bottle is designed to be exactly this – a clean bottle. I so dislike the funky smell of some reusable bottles that never seem to get clean enough. This bottle unscrews at both the top and bottom for easy cleaning in the dishwasher. Plus, love the square design so if dropped it won’t roll away. Buy the Clean Bottle here.

All of the companies mentioned above give back one way or another to the well being of this earth and the people who live here.

“We Do Not Inherit the Earth from Our Ancestors; We Borrow It from Our Children” – Ancient Indian Proverb

By Audrey van Petegem, Chief Editor

I was given a sample pair of Dear Kate panties to try. I thought that the bikini with the full protection were cute and I could see the benefit of them for my age. Dear Kate was started by a young woman who saw a need for leak resistant underwear for her heavy periods. She did not want to compromise style with practicality, so she came up with a line that she would want to wear. When she realized how popular they were, not only heavy periods but also for women with bladder control, she expanded her line into maternity panties.

Well, they are great for us middle-aged women too. For many of us who have had babies and are now equipped with aging bodies, we tend to have “leakage” issues. You know what I am talking about, right ladies? When we are in need of protection from that little sneeze, standing in a line or a long flight overseas. Dear Kate’s full protection lining can hold up to three tablespoons of liquid, keeping those embarrassing moments at bay.

I am naturally irked by websites that purport catering to baby boomers but use models that are very young. While speaking with the company, I was happy to hear they are just in the process of a new photo shoot with older models! It is important that we see that these practical panties can give that extra security for us baby boomers as well and, at the same time, we can still get our groove on and feel sexy! No granny pants here!

The panties are proudly made in NYC with soft micro-fiber. The three layers consist of two wicking and stain-releasing inner layers for easy washing and a leak-resistant, breathable outer layer. They are true to size for our certain age and come in fancies and basics.  See their whole line here and know that you do not have to compromise feeling good with security.

By Audrey van Petegem, Chief Editor

Let me start this article by saying that I want to share with you a book that has literally brought new life into this aging body, mind and soul of mine. I learned about this book when Esther Perel recommended it after reading my article that mentioned her TedTV video on Love and Desire in a Long-Term Relationship.

The author, François Roland, is a self-proclaimed quintessential Frenchman, who knows personally about women, making love and living a sensual life. Not sure if this was a book for me, I grabbed the sample chapter for my Kindle to see if it was all that it claimed to be. Let’s just say I quickly bought the book after reading the first chapter!

Encouraged by many to write the book, Being French! A Frenchman’s Guide to a More Sensual Life, François felt that he may have something to offer on this topic, particularly to North Americans. And he did not fail to deliver. He gives hope to those who have not found love or a sensual life, shares how to reignite the passion in one’s marriage and gives insight to both sexes on the opposite sex.

As I read through the pages of this book, I not only felt the changes that were happening in me but I could actually see them. I could see I walked more confidently with a new lightness in my step. I was starting to feel better about myself. I felt empowered. As he expresses in his book, “I make you see your own beauty and just from that you stretch even more beautiful. You let it blossom because it starts to radiate from inside you.” How could you not feel different after reading those words!

I really started noticing some major changes when I took François’ advice and bought some sexy panties. I know this sounds crazy but it is true. There is a reason he dedicates a whole chapter on this subject. He encourages women to treat themselves and wear sexy panties for the pure “sensual femininity” of it. He goes onto say that it is important to “create an inner picture of the sensual woman you feel like being today”.  It makes a big difference for one’s self-image to be wearing sexy lingerie instead of granny undies. I must say, French women may have something here! I do feel sexier just knowing that under my plain jeans I am wearing some very fine lingerie.

Further in the book, François addresses self-image in a chapter aptly titled, Real Bodies. He not only gives us permission to accept our bodies as they are, but also explains why a real body is far more sensual than one that is perfect (even though there is no such thing). A body devoid of lines, scars, hair and imperfections is like eating a rice cake for dinner. A full course meal with all the extras is far more appetizing! Do you not agree?

So, here I sit, reading this book while wearing my sexy undies, feeling my body is beautiful and I get to the chapter on Images and Sensual Life.

But wait, before I continue, I must digress for a moment to tell you what my husband said to me. One morning as I am dressing, he looks over and says, “Are you working out?” I stared at him with a quizzical look on my face. He continued to say that my body is looking great. Hum, I find this interesting because no,

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By Anne-Marie Kovacs, Chief Wife

My 10 lbs clown-of-a-dog Toy Poodle is actually a real scaredy cat. As much as he’ll let any visitor to our home know to “beware” ’cause he’s watching them, he’s also the best snuggle-bunny when he’s just with us. And, he also turns into a nervous mess as soon as the skys thunder in the slightest. It does seem that his anxiety has gotten worse with age (he’s celebrating his 9th birthday this week).

I discovered the ThunderShirt at the International Housewares Show this past March and got a sample. I knew I wanted to try this on Skippy (btw, before you make fun of his cliché pet name, know that he rightfully earned that name by accomplishing some awesome jumping acrobatics). This morning was the day to do it. The sky was so dark at 8:00 am this morning that all the lights were on in the house. The sky burst in rain and thunder and Skippy anxiously scampered around, shaking and whining.

On went the ThunderShirt.

As you can tell, Skippy doesn’t exactly look ecstatic, but he almost immediately stopped trembling and whining once the ThunderShirt was put on. The ThunderShirt works like a big, calming – but more sustainable – hug which applies a gentle & constant pressure on the dog’s (or cat’s) torso to calm the pet.

We’ve known that swaddling and pressure can ease anxiety in babies, cattle and persons with autism (remember Clare Danes in the Temple Grandin movie?). Now, it’s a great solution for cats and dogs too.

Though the storm persisted, Skippy was able to calm down enough to watch the deluge from his favorite resting spot. While not as relaxed as usual, he was no longer frantically and hopelessly looking to be comforted. The ThunderShirt did the trick.

What a great find and an easy, safe and drug-free remedy. The ThunderShirt is available in many sizes for dogs under 7 lbs to dogs over 110lbs. It can be purchased online here for $39.95 with a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Love it.