By Susan Keats, Contributor & Seize-the-Day Propagandist
The theater was dark, the movie had just started. The woman was large, slowly making her way down the aisle, popcorn in her right hand, eyes on the screen. Just as she came to my row, she started to edge her way in, then, without taking her eyes off the movie, she sat. On me.
What would you have done?
I know exactly what you are saying. In fact, that question seems stupid doesn’t it? What would I have done? I would have said something like, “Hey LADY! Get off me!” Or maybe something more polite, [...]

The Succulent Wives are taking a little (very little) time off this summer. While we are still actively working on bringing you new content and ideas every week, we have also decided to bring back some of our favorite posts from the archives, those that are still timely, relevant, useful and that deserve to be revisited. Thanks for allowing us to recharge. We promise that we will be coming back with more new ideas and recommendations for cool stuff than you’ll know what to do with…
By Audrey van Petegem, Senior Editor
As I head up to the cottage I look forward [...]

By Audrey van Petegem, Senior Editor
With myself turning 50 this year, many of my friends are also doing the same. Surprise parties are being secretly organized for some and for others, they are taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, and organizing their own getaways with their gal pals. Always in search for the perfect gift I wonder if the My Baby Boomer Baby Book would be a great novelty gift to help bring light to the otherwise potentially somber prospect of aging. Although I personally am embracing turning 50 I am not excited about the physical side [...]

By Kristin Fast, Lifestyle Editor and In-House Wit-Cracker
The only way to really get into this post is to request that you follow this link and watch the below video on Fox Fur and Feather Carnivale Merkins, the latest ridiculous way to decorate your bikini zone, and then come back so we can chat…

Good, you’ve returned. Everyone okay? I can wait a moment if you need water or an Advil…
Now, I have mentioned before that I place an inordinate amount of faith in advertising and have fallen prey to far too many Miracle Infomercials… This weakness has been curbed a bit [...]

By now, you have undoubtedly seen some of the many iterations, permutations and variations of the Shit Girls Say video, the brilliant piece of pop culture that started it all (still, in the avalanche of Shit…Says videos, my favorite remains the Shit Yogis Say). This meme seems unstoppable. And of course, since we also wanted to be represented, we had to make our own age-appropriate Sh!t video.
Is it hot in here? Where are my glasses? These represent just a couple of the very erudite and enlightened everyday epigrams of midlife women:
 
 
Yeah. We talk like that all. the. time.
Thanks to Marjie [...]

By Kristin Fast, Lifestyle Editor and In-House Wit-Cracker
It’s January 25, do you know where your resolution is?
Mine is happening right now as my little fingers fly (poke) over the keyboard of my hand-me-down laptop; Resolution 2012, more writing.
Only took 25 days to get crackin’.
Do you know that almost half of all Americans make a New Year’s Resolution and by June, more than half of those folks are still sticking with it?
Astounding and Huzzah!
The magic seems to be to not make goals along the lines of: I will lose 25 pounds by February 1 or I will never drink again, but [...]

By Audrey van Petegem, Senior Editor
Every year at this time, we scour the internet looking for websites that bring out the child in all of us and help us (and our kids) get into the spirit of Christmas. Last year we found several Ho Ho Holiday sites and the year before, some Creative Christmas Magic Sites.
This year, we found another free site, PortableNorthPoleTV which creates a personalized video from Santa. What makes this one different? It’s not just for kids, but also works well for non-believers, aka teens and adults. Santa will tell them if they are on the naughty [...]

By Kristin Fast, In-House Wit-Cracker
Writing about holidays or personal holiday traditions is tricky business because there is a greater than average chance you will offend your reader – either by sounding as though you are giving Martha Stewart a run for her money with your just general awesome soups and crafts and vintage decor, or you will offend your reader with your snarky thought slightly tongue-in-cheek holiday tales as told from the bottom of a wine glass… guess in which category I tend to fall?
That being said, when the Succulents asked me to contribute a piece to be published on [...]

By Kristin Fast, Lifestyle Editor and In-House Wit-Cracker
Sunday, June 19th is around the corner and for all of you who forgot (yes, I am looking at you) that means Father’s Day is fast approaching and unless you are one of the lucky ones with a dad who is a real zealot for some sort of hobby, you are wringing your hands in despair because buying dad a gift can be particularly difficult. Annoyingly, many fathers are of the, “Save your money” and “It’s a ‘Hallmark’ holiday” variety which moves them from the “difficult” to the “eye-gouging” category on your shopping list.
Lucky [...]

By Kristin Fast, Lifestyle Editor and In-House Wit-Cracker
Forget the time old idea of Mom and apple pie… today’s mother, as you surely know, is not only bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, but also volunteering for the school carnival committee and getting to the gym 3 afternoons a week. She is a machine that can juggle separate schedules, knows your shoe size and together you share an irrational love for British Rom-coms. She is your mother and she is awesome.
And one small day a year to acknowledge her awesomeness is not a lot to [...]